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About spiritual bypassing & its sneaky faces in the wellness industry.

So. Since COVID has come around as a regular visitor, the coaches, teachers & spiritual guides of the world has become extra loud. I get it. There's a lot of money in other people's pain. There's a lot of money in coming with a solution that seems to be THE hack to the human experience & all its hardships.


However. A solution like this doesn't exist (do we even want it to?). They might tell you it does but it doesn't. And it certainly doesn't exist for everyone all the time. It's often something about getting early up in the morning. Something about meditation. Keeping a gratitude journal. Hire a coach. And then quitting your job to finally start your own business. It often goes like that. And they make it sound like this IS available. EVEN for you.

Even NOW. Well this blog-post is for you that haven't been able to *just* make this happen for you yet. Please know. There's time. *deep breath*

The problem is. We might have all of these good intentions to get out of our own way. I mean, who tf really WANTS to feel like shit if they could decide themselves, right? But this work is not for everyone. It just isn't. And it certainly isn't for everyone in the year of 2020. There's so much privilege involved in this kind of thinking. In this behavior.


In the wellness industry we (also myself!) has a tendency to think that people can just start doing these practices of journaling, Yoga, coaching, running, whatever it is. We think that if they don't do it yet it's just because they're just not ready. They will come around we say. Because we know that we cannot force people - even though we see the pattern and we've seen it before. We want them to have breakthrough and bla bla bla. BUT. There's a lot of people who are not manifesting the shit our of their dreams because they are simply not ABLE to. It's not an option in their lives. Yet. Hopefully.

It's often misunderstood that the human who lives in a home of domestic violence can *just* get out. *Just* leave. In the same way with the addict that can *just* stop using. Or the deeply anxious person can *just* start thinking more positive & change their story. Just like that. If this is how things have worked for you in your life, I am happy for you. What a resilient person you must be. I just wish for you to stay open to the fact that not everyone can do this. Just like that.

This is not because self-care needs to look fancy or be expensive. This is because people's mental health history is SO different from person to person and we actually need a healthy mind in order to be able to care for ourselves & others. So it's not really about whether we're with or without all the proclaimed self-care tools in the world. It's about whether we are able to even think the thought - and mean it -

"I want to take better care of myself".


Thinking that everyone can just take better care of themselves *just like that* is naïve. It's spiritual bypassing. It's a lack of acknowledgement. It's a lack of empathy. It's a lack of compassion. Especially this year where we've been challenged in all the ways imaginable.

How we're doing in general comes down to four things: 1) Health. Mental and physical. 2) Relationships. Professional and private. 3) Job.

4) Financial situation.

And because the year of 2020 has been so hard on

every single one of these components, this is just not the year to assume that everyone can easily take

better care. Do better self-care. We think that people can easily be empathetic and compassionate towards themselves. We maybe even suggest them to #loveyourself. BUT how can we love ourselves when we don't know ourselves? How can we love ourselves when we don't trust ourselves? How can we *just* do cheaper selfcare-practices like positive-thinking, lighting a candle, taking a shower or calling a friend when sometimes *surprise* we don't fucking care for ourselves because our mental health doesn't even allow us to dream that way?

So. No. It doesn't just work like that.

We don't just start loving or caring deeply about others from day one. Why should it be like that with ourselves? First we get to know them. We get to know their story. Then we might start trusting them. We trust that their words are true and that they're here for

the right reasons. Then love might come around. But not everyone has been able to stay blissed and blessed this year to do this work. It might've been too much. No, you don't necessarily need to be able to invest in a coach, journal everyday or perform as a human being to do this work but you do need *some* kind of energetic capacity available. Especially if the work and the situation is new to you - which let's be honest - it has been for many of us this year.

All of us are obviously able to feel love. Able to feel compassion. But not all of us are able to do this all the time. In situations that are so scary and so unfamiliar. To think that way, is spiritual bypassing. And like that it's the least compassionate act we could actually be doing.


Therefore. This is a prayer to those of you who think that everyone can manifest their way out of everything. I'm sure you mean it well and you know what? Maybe we can. But not all of us and not always. So whether you're working in the wellness-industry or not please take extra good care of your fellow humans this year. There's so much time and they're for sure doing their very best under these circumstances. I believe in you. In us.

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When COVID-19 first came to town I was paralyzed. In shock. Locked away behind closed borders from my family and everything that felt familiar at the time. I had moved to Belgium just a few months before and was only in the first stages of finding a routine in my new situation. Normally I would go back and forth between Denmark a lot. This was why it felt rather easy to move this time. Suddenly that freedom was taken away and I lowkey panicked on the inside. I'm telling you - anxieties were HIGH! PHEW!

After the first panicky days had settled down and new creative solutions started popping up here and there, I decided to take action. Like a boss babe and all that. I know from my past with mental health issues that taking responsibility for how I feel is the best way out of getting completely overwhelmed by it. Because what do I want? To just keep feeling like shit and blaming myself for not doing enough? No. I always wish and hope to feel different whenever the waves of Anxiety washes over me. Always. It's just not always that I have the power to stop her. However. Little baby steps helps. As long as I keep moving forward. Closer to love. Even if it's from a crawling/dragging my body across the floor-position. Forward is the way. That first step is the hardest and heaviest ever (!) but right on the other side of that, things feels easier. It gets easier. I start to believe that I will be okay.

When I'm first able to think "okay, I'm here to feel different. I welcome guidance and I am open to step out of my misery", I know it's all about inviting in a little bit of softness and compassion for myself. For me to step into full on solution mode yelling won't work. Calling myself stupid or not enough wont work. Compassion works. Kindness works. And once that was re-introduced to my system I could really start to act.

What is especially hard for me in times of frequent visits from Anxiety, is getting out of bed. I tend to feel like my presence is not important in the world on that day, so I might as well stay at home doing nothing. Which only empowers Anxiety, Shame and all their sisters. It's hard. It's a lot. I felt like that in the beginning of lockdown. I just wanted to eat pasta for breakfast and watch TV all day. Not just one day. Everyday. Like a it was a full-time job. But without making any profit.

One day I finally granted my body a sweaty Yoga-class from an amazing fellow teacher (@wildestyoga love u), I had a bit of an epiphany. I was everyday searching for online classes that could help me friggin just get out of bed in the morning. I had this knowing that I would then feel different throughout my days and weeks. That class couldn't really be found. And at the same time I knew still needed to take responsibility for my own health and feelings, remember? The definition of insanity is "keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result". I wasn't insane just yet, so I needed to do something different. And there it was. Morning Club. With hosting my own classes in the morning it would not just get me out of bed, but also help others in my online community doing the same. That meant I would actually be taking responsibility for my own mental health AND supporting others in taking care of theirs. Bingo.

As the weeks went by Morning Club became a success. It helped us all get out of bed. We met in our virtual Yoga-shala and practiced every morning breath, movement and meditation. So AAAHMAZING and glorious. We journaled together. We took care of our entire being and health. So powerful. Such a strong movement. I could feel the change within me. I could feel the change amongst my fellow Morning Clubbers. We felt different, because we decided to feel different. We took responsibility and were lucky enough to have each other's support in doing so.

That's the beauty of community. When things are hard and we feel like we "just have to make it through", it's twice as hard to do it alone. It might feel scary and very vulnerable to share our struggles with someone else but if Shame keeps us quiet for too long, she will win. The moment we take responsibility for how we're feeling, speak out our hurt and share it with someone who listens, we are setting ourselves free. We are coming closer to love no matter what it is that we're feeling shameful about. Whether it's a "hey I think it's really hard to get out of bed right now" or a very real "I'm not really sure why I'm placed on this Earth", you are never alone. These feelings are not just mine or your feelings. They come from all of us. It's our feelings. It's human feelings.

To belong is a basic human need.

Take responsibility and remind others that they belong on this Earth.

Let others do the same for you.

extra extra: Morning Club still exists to this day. Three months later. Now in a closed Facebook-group where 40+ women from 10 different countries practice together twice a week. Some in the morning, some in the afternoon. Either way it's an online platform where we all gather to share our deepest strengths and sorrows. A place where every individual is showing up - not just for themselves but for every single member in the group! That makes everyone important and so needed no matter what season of life they're in.

If you wish to become a member of the Morning Club, or simply hear more, then please send a message to be added to the waiting list.

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